Good evening, and welcome to Washington University in St Louis.
Long years ago, this nation was founded by a grand promise, later memorialised by President Lincoln.
America will create a true government…
*Video cuts to one of the alleged sexual abuse victims of Bill Clinton”
Wah lau eh, did you really just cut away from me, while I was talking about Lincoln?
As in, I understand you want to garner controversy, but this guy abolish slavery eh.
Also ah, why is your Presidential race now so siao one?
Look, I am not saying Singapore no siao lang, of course got la, but we keep them in Yishun, we don’t let them run for President what.
This is insane.
If one of our Presidential candidates, or Ministerial candidates, talk about grabbing lady’s ka chngs, his career will be over sia.
You heard about David Ong?
Never, right? Exactly.
Lan eh, this one cannot even call a Presidential election liao, this one worse than Taiwan Ah Seng, or any of those incomprehensibly long Taiwanese dramas.
Every week got another plot twist, that’s not how you should keep people interested what.
I really cannot understand sia, but whatever lor, your own grave.
But when you all start complaining about how Trump’s policy of every 18-year-old girl being conscripted into his private harem “doesn’t seem very American”, don’t say I never say ah.
Oh yeah, also, democracy, as an ideal, burns brightly in the whatever la, who cares.
*Drops mic on floor*
East side, best side!!
*Does Sa La Kau sign*
— Jeremy Au Yong (@jaytweeting) October 10, 2016
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